If you’re having trouble motivating to go to work in the morning, you might hate your job — or you might be the victim of workplace bullying. Anyone can be a bully at work, whether it’s a boss or a coworker or a client. If you’re a target, it’s important to recognize your situation and respond appropriately, in order to minimize the damage to your psyche and career.
In a nationwide survey commissioned by CareerBuilder, 28 percent of workers reported they have felt bullied at work — nearly one in five (19 percent) of these workers left their jobs because of it.
The study confirms that bullies can be peers (46 percent) as well as managers (45 percent), and sometimes even higher-ups in the organization (25 percent).
According to experts, there’s a general lack of awareness about bullying and what constitutes bullying in the workplace. Because of this, targets sometimes are not aware that the people they work with are bullying them.
Bullying, whether the target is aware or not, causes a lot of stress, and stress-related health complications. The impact could be physical and/or psychological debilitation, including but not limited to hypertension, heart strokes, depression, etc. The Workplace Bullying Institute shares a comprehensive list of effects of bullying.
So how do you know you are being bullied? Here are some of the tell-tale actions of a bully.
1. Overlooking or belittling the target’s work and achievement.
2. Backhanded comments on the target’s personal life or any other aspect unrelated to work.
3. Excessive yelling, swearing, and/or causing public humiliation.
4. Withholding critical information relevant to the target’s job with/without the target’s knowledge. Not sharing opportunities that could benefit the target.
5. Overworking, assigning excessive work, making it impossible to complete the job.
6. Keeping track of/maintaining a record of the target’s mistakes and constantly bringing them up even for trivial or irrelevant reasons.
7. Extensive micromanagement and expressing repeated distrust.
8. Blaming without any justification or proof.
9. Isolating the target, socially and professionally.
10. Spreading unwanted gossip and rumors about the target.
So what can you do if you are being bullied?
- Assess the situation: Recognize if you are being bullied or if this is one isolated incident. When you are in the right frame of mind, reassess your emotional reaction before you take any drastic action. If the unpleasant behavior is targeted over a period of time and repeated, then you need to realize that you are being bullied.
- Seek help: If you are stressed out, or are facing health issues, address your health and mental well-being first before you decide what to do to better your situation at work. Take a few days off if required and seek professional help.
- Record your interactions: Keep a note of your interactions where you feel bullied. If there’s a paper trail, threats via mail, witnesses, etc., document your exchanges.
- Confront the bully: There may be a possibility that the bully does not really know that he is bullying you and that his actions are stressing you out. Having an open discussion gives the person a chance to revisit his behavior. If you see him getting defensive or retaliating, you will have to go higher up the chain or to a neutral third party.
- Know your organization’s policies: Although it’s not necessarily illegal to bully at work, many organizations have a zero-tolerance policy. Understand how your organization will handle the situation.
- Report the bully: It is easier said than done, but keep the emotion out of the equation. When presenting your case, be as objective as you can in recounting your experiences and sharing your documented proof.
- Stay prepared: There may or may not be any action taken, depending on how your organization treats the case, especially if your bully is in a position of power. Before you report the bully, consider what your options are if there is no action taken. Can you ask for a transfer? Apply for a different job? If you need to look for a job, start now. In case things do not go as planned, you don’t want to be left without any options.
Tell Us What You Think
Have you ever been bullied at work? We want to hear from you! Leave a comment or join the discussion on Twitter.
This post was updated from an earlier version previously published on PayScale.
This has happened to me. It is very hard to deal with. And you never understand why anyone would treat anyone that way. You just feel like someone is trying to ruin your career and life for no reason.
I was bullied at my last job by someone that really scared me. Already a damaged person he would belittle me and constantly berate me. Others got pleasure as they were exonerated from this monster as I was his target. Point being that this type of personality to force a person out of her job should be illegal and ppl that let this type of behavior go on should reevaluate because this psycho will pass on the negative atmosphere to… Read more »
If you are being targeted for mistreatment then leave. It is the only sane solution, even if it means taking a lesser job. Don’t sit around waiting for things to get better. Don’t tolerate the behaviour. Don’t believe that your manager or HR will help. LEAVE now and find a better life!! Don’t consider it losing or being pushed around. Consider it winning a battle and escaping. You are getting away from a horrible person as in “I had to… Read more »
I think that people who bully are insecure, feel insignificant, and instead of concentrating on improving their own job performance (or life), try to demean others to make themselves feel better. Personally I would not feel better if I ever made anyone else feel bad, but then again, I have no self esteem issues and I have a wonderful life, family and mountains of support. Perhaps these people don’t and they are still searching for some sort of meaning in… Read more »
I have experienced this. My supervisor wanted to get rid of me but didn’t have the authority to fire me. They were hyper vigilant in examining my behavior for anything to criticize even the smallest things like I took too long in the bathroom and made doing my job tasks very difficult. If I needed her signature for something you could bet it would be a nightmare of she was too busy at the moment, later unavailable, it’s on her… Read more »
We always hear about anti-bullying campaigns for children but bullies grow up and end up being our neighbor, personal trainer, boss or the leader of a nation. Bullying is a learned behavior. People aren’t “born that way”. It is taught in the home and if they are not stopped it will continue into adulthood. Bullies want you to feel weak & powerless while completely stripping away your self esteem, confidence until you have nothing left. You are just a shell… Read more »
I would have to say that when you are getting slapped in the face , literally by a co-worker because they claim they didn’t like the way you asked the person in line for their membership card , and being skipped in seniority when being forced to leave your home department to work on the front end , written up for clocking in too early by 4 minutes and clocking out 6 minutes past your shift, then one day you… Read more »
Two jobs in a row this has happened to me. The last job I had the retired owner was trying to get her grandson to replace me. She would come into the business and with a smile on her face humiliate me in front of customers. She would knit-pick and be on my back the whole time she was there, making a mountain out of a molehill over the smallest, what she considered, infraction. She not only did this to… Read more »
Several months ago I managed to land a great job with an excellent company for our area. Benefits are outstanding both financially as well as personally rewarding work. This company is 8 minutes from my front door. ..not to mention my schedule is ideal with daily overtime hours available including most weekends. Dream job, right? It was until one day I happened to catch the attention of the bully in the room. I had a small issue with another coworker… Read more »
What should you do if the bullies include peers/colleagues and supervisors? Attempts have been made to address concerns with staff directly, only resulting in negative consequences for me.
I worked in a hospital a few years ago and every day myself and other employees were bullied by a supervisor and the management they would swear at staff find problems with their clothes, hair or just find something to bully the others, I went into work with a bad chest infection made worse by asthma I was stopped from using my inhaler every time I went to get it to help with my breathing I was followed by either… Read more »
I don’t care how the bully feels. I only care how I feel and react and after typing it out and talking to my sis and a good friend I’m much calmer. As far as bullies I have dealt with go she is an amateur. I will be civil to her but will not let her walk all over me. I will not avoid her but I will not go out of my way to spend any time with her.… Read more »
My boss is satan himself. It’s either he’s the real deal or he’s one of his right hand men. This guy is cruel, unfair and he treats the females in the office as though we are animals. He’s so verbally abusive and emotionally cruel and he can never pass up a chance to publicly humiliate you and say what he has to say as loud as he can so that everyone around can hear it. If he finds even the… Read more »
I’ve been currently working for a company for almost two years. I’ve been bullied since I arrived by my immediate supervisor and senior, who share an office and are close friends. The senior constantly makes demeaning comments about me and questions my work to this day. The senior constantly makes fun of me and the supervisor laughs about it. Everyone knows yet no one cares, HR is her close friend , who has participated in the bulling as well. I… Read more »
I was bullied at work by a co-worker for 2 years, at first i didn’t realized that i am being bullied but over time as the bully’s action kept repeating and my as my health started to worsen and i developed anxiety i felt that i am being bullied. I told my supervisor and my manager many times. But because my manager is new to the Job he talked to the bully many times but she never stop. The bully… Read more »
I know one thing a bully can also promote people who you helped train and pass you up again and againg.I personally think there are those bosses who were pushed up ahead of more qualified folks that will only promote those with less experince than themselves because they dont want anyone who knows more to be in their realm.So unfair it stinks as much as that brown crap on their noses.I have seen guys get on in 2010 where I… Read more »
Leaving is the only answer.
Your smarter, strong and live a more truthful life.
Get away from the crazies.
I worked 30 years to have one program minimize me to nothing.
They will all receive their due karma, we don’t have to wait to see it.
Look now, take action….you can do it.
When I am out totally they will pay
Please realise that most bullying is fear on the part of the bully – both my wife and I have experienced extensive work place bullying and know numerous others who have endured similar scenarios as stated here. The single unifying element is the actual or perceived superiority of the victim in the eyes of the bully: this might seem counterintuitive but I’ve found it to be the case in all the cases I’ve seen. From the point of view of… Read more »
I’m being bullied by my coworker. I joined this work place 4 months ago, as her replacement. She has been with company for 35 yrs. and she’s retiring very soon, however everyday has been a struggle, she never includes me in discussion, projects. She withholds information and somehow it looks like the higher ups are scared of her. Basically she setting me up for failure. I think she feels threatened by me, she doesn’t want me to answer an user… Read more »
I was bullied at work by an incompetent manager who was appointed to his position by his close friend. This is the very worst situation as it limits any option to shut this guy down, he was guilty of using all the bullies methods listed above, the only advantage was this was a large government corporation in Australia. After repeated requests to his friend/manager about the bullying and getting nowhere I sought advice from a lawyer friend he gave me… Read more »
I am being bullied at work by a woman and my immediate supervisor, who are friends. Both are insecure, incompetent people and I can’t fathom how they managed to get their jobs in the first place. At first it was just the woman bullying me by complaining to my boss about very serious mistakes I had made. These were false accusations and besides not having made a single one of the mistakes she has accused me of, I am one… Read more »
My boss told me today that I am the lucky one at work because I am white. We were watching the inauguration and she told me I’m the only one who doesn’t have to worry about being deported. Never mind that I’m the lowest paid employee, the only one who has experienced abuse and poverty (and they KNOW this) and the only Republican in the place. I feel I was unfairly singled out and then the whole office jumped in… Read more »
I am being bullied at work and its horrible. Management doesnt want to deal with the issue. Looking for another job….
I am currently going through this. Many people are bullying me, not just one. I have started to look for a different job. You know the sad thing is, before this started happening I liked going to work. Now I’m lucky if I don’t vomit before I walk in the door. I sometimes stand out front of the building and work up the courage to go in. It just got worse a few days ago, I was given something like… Read more »
Thank you for this article.
Everything mentioned above I’ve been going through for 15 days straight, can’t sleep don’t want to eat ,I’ve been working this type work for 38 years never have been sited for any saftey violation ,I have been with this company 12 years never been reprimanded for anothing, until know, this forman and the general contractor supervisor not only had me sited for a hazardous excavation that my forman had created they have publicly made me out to be the worst… Read more »
First I’m going to apologize for the long story but I just need to get this off my chest or out of me as I’m almost had it with this job. I dispatch for a towing company and have been here for almost 3 years. I know my job but with most jobs your always learning something new but pretty much knowing what vehicles require a deck truck, a tandem or just a wrecker. and of course what driver to… Read more »
I have 20 years experience as a hospital healthcare professional. Two years ago I left a lucrative position to help care for an elderly parent in another state. I was hired on at the local hospital. I have been an excellent employee with no demerits to my records. Recently I applied for an advancement in the department I am working in. I was told by my director told me “I have no confidence in you”. I was devestated and did… Read more »
I know this maybe a little late but I have been bullied and it is a Government job, I was taken back at first and wound up being placed in another Department because of her, the same scenario as described above, she did everything to make me look incompetent and stupid and now that I am no longer there she tries to chat me up. I do speak but I still don’t like her for obvious reasons. I also told… Read more »
Working in a company where the director is a total bully and a narcissist. Continually told to stop talking when having a conversation with him. Shouting also occurs regularly and all aimed towards me. So I am job hunting as i need to get out of here, but also not talking. Why give him ammo to treat me like this? There is no one above him so he can do as he pleases. Currently on probation due to starting here.… Read more »
I realize now that most of the signs of bullying at work (above) were done to me at my last job. It ultimately led to my unemployment I have spent the last 3 months trying to find a job and have had no luck so far. I prefer that this post remain anonymous, I just want to say that you must report these people and at the same time look for a new job. Do not let them put you… Read more »
I am being bullied at work she does it every time loudly in front of others. What can I do
Thank you for the article! It’s pretty informative. I’ve experienced bullying in many different facets of life including school and work. I’ve done everything from find other work to calmly confronting the bully to reporting the bully and the later is the thing that has proven most beneficial for me. That’s also the current situation I’m in as I’m working alongside this bully who has refrained from attacking me since I reported him/her. I think different options work for different… Read more »
im being bullied by my boss what do i do
I believe I’m being harassed at work. My co-worker is nice one week then very very mean. He tells me to shut up when I’m not even talking to him. He puts his hand up in front of my face when I’m talking to someone else. He lies when I tell somebody what he says to me. I was told also that we both can lose our jobs if we don’t get along. That’s not right or fair!! He’s the… Read more »
Thank you so much for the list of tell-tale actions of a bully! I feel like it’s easy to think of bullying as being something that only teenagers and children have to worry about. I imagine that making people aware of how to recognize it happening in their professional workplace would go a long way towards preventing it.
http://firstlinehr.com/bullying.html
I think I was bullied at my last job but didn’t realize it until I spoke with friends, I researched and read numerous articles to see if my situation fit the description of bullying. I enjoyed my job, and was very good at what I did and befitted with accolades and a pay increase after 1 year of employment. Then shortly after (6 months) came the negative remarks from my Director, the same person who hired and commended me with… Read more »
I’m Muslim and im fasting this month which starts sunrise and finshes sunset i work unsoicalible hours. I start work at 8pm and need to break my fast sunset which is at 9.40pm. My manger does not allow me to break my fast at that time. I feel upset about it and would of thought that they will that it in to consideration. I don’t no what to do. Can anyone help???
this is happening to me right at this moment, and I feel betrayed cause I am in this company for 4 years, first problems started a year and 3 months ago… The new coworker came and disabled all the boys in the company, and then it started picking, and after that all of the join in, the point that I can’t communicate with no one, I have to take break in the separate time then everybody else, and I get… Read more »
I was attacked while walking to a clients office by a mugger, i was on the clock i was severely injured to the point where my hands don’t work from fighting the person off. I use my hands they are my best assets well they were and I go to therapy but they are injured forever. After telling my manager what happened my whole work, life changed. They kept telling me it never happened at work and what insurance your… Read more »
so been hurt on the job was told since i did not tell our supervisor as soon as i felt sore that they could not cover me under workman’s comp went to the doc put under restrictions got in trouble for going put under restrictions got in trouble again had a meeting got in trouble again feel as if when i get released from restrictions i will just be fired for something else. So what do I do? had problems… Read more »
I am being bullied at work, physically. 3 times body checked, 1 time pushed, 1 time kicked. Took notes, times, day. Reported it to hr and the plant manager. When I advised them another occurrence I would call police, they told me police would not be allowed past security. Now I’m stressed and depressed and fearful when at work. I want to quit but the thought of starting over causes even more stress. I’m a 50 year old female 5… Read more »
Yes I was bullied to for more then two years from 2003 til 2005 and again in 2008 and 2009 in the work force I used to work in a factory I had a nervous break down due to the bullying it just didn’t happen to me but to others to it was group of women bullying other person or me i left in 2009 because of it i couldnt cope with it no more nothing was done with the… Read more »
I am now a days victim of same. Its 3am in the morning , 6 am I have to leave for my office. But there is no sleep in my eyes. I have 6 years of exp. Always being bright employee with joly nature. 6 months back joined a forture 500 company. My manager is surviving due to politics he spent 10 years in this company and now think he is god. He jealous that I am good programmer got… Read more »
I was bullied at work until I left. It was my manager who bullied me, She would make comments to people about my appearance. I had also witnessed her making comments about the way other people looked, behind their backs. She would ridicule me behind my back and a few occasions reprimanded me in public, in the car park of my work place once. She has also given me negative references. Was turned down from a job this morning because… Read more »
I was a bus driver for 10 years. Now I am in the office. I worked hard to learn and pass a test for this position. My Union president and Vice President are drivers and they nit pick everything I do. They file grievances on things I do that were done the same in the past . They never win but…… They say things like I play favorites and hide work for drivers I like. NONE of this is true.… Read more »
I am 23 and I’m being bullies by a 50 year old. I have complained to the human resource and Filled a formal complaint about 6 months ago. In March it will be a year that I have been still putting up with this bully.. I need this job for the insurance but I am running out option to go for help and its mentality and physically affecting me. I just feel like no hears me listens to me they… Read more »
what if you are repeatedly the target that gets set up at work to fail. For instance both of my bosses higher up and over me have been trying to catch me doing something wrong. I have worked 25 years for my Company. My bosses are young. For instance one of them waited for my back to be turned and took all of the cash out of my drawer and made me believe a customer stole it. this went on… Read more »
Slowly i have allowed myself to be bullied by various nurses, management and peers, this time it was s staffing agency… what can i do?
I have a new manager at my office. She told me I had to be nice to her then one day we were to do a telephone conference with my higher manager. We went through this as I made a comment to the manager who snapped shh listen to this. I then tried to extend an olive branch after the call. I was told no I’m not doing that and then she said that she knew I had applied for… Read more »