Feel like the boss doesn’t like you? It might not be paranoia. It’s possible that your manager really doesn’t care for you. Worse, he might even want you to quit.
If that’s the case, staying in your current position may not be the best way to advance your career. Sometimes, however, you can find ways to improve the situation and have a good working relationship with your boss. Here are the three biggest signs that your boss doesn’t care for you, and how to respond.
1. You Are Being Micromanaged
Sometimes, micromanaging bosses don’t trust you. Other times, they are simply insecure themselves, or lack delegating skills. If you are being micromanaged, first ask yourself if you are being singled out. If the boss treats everybody this way, the problem is not how he perceives you. Rather, it is his style of management.
You can help yourself by recognizing that this boss needs to be in the loop and to feel in control. Be willing to communicate as much as the boss seems to require, and be as responsible as possible. Insecure bosses may learn to trust you and rely upon you if you don’t take their micromanagement personally.
If you are the only person in the office being micromanaged, and you are unable to gain this person’s trust over time, you may need to make a change, because you will not advance in your career under the aegis of somebody who will not trust you with responsibility.
2. Your Boss Is Overly Critical
Criticism is part of the workplace. You can’t learn from your mistakes if you don’t know you’ve made them. Step one if you think you are being unfairly criticized is to look at your work and yourself. Is there validity in the criticism, and how can you improve?
The next step if you feel treated unfairly is to examine whether you are being singled out, or if the boss critical of everybody in the office. If you are not the only report whose work gets torn apart, relax. It’s not personal. Take the criticism to heart and try to do better. Ask this manager questions about how you can improve; a good but critical boss will appreciate your attempt to do well.
If you have an overly critical boss who is either singling you out or is inappropriate (such as calling you stupid) you may be best off changing your work situation as soon as you can.
3. Your Boss Ignores You
This may be the most important sign that your boss does not like you. Employees need feedback and mentoring to do well at work and advance in their careers. If your boss pays more attention to everyone else, but never gives you any feedback, you are not being given tools to improve.
If your boss ignores or avoids you, he is indicating that your presence in the workplace does not matter to him. You may be not included in meetings, given feedback, or given work unless you ask for it. Of course, you can try asking for feedback and letting him know when you can take on additional work. This may gain his trust.
If you are consistently ignored by your boss, and he pays attention to other employees, this is likely a “dead-end” for you. Consider changing your situation as soon as you reasonably can.
Tell Us What You Think
How does your boss treat you? We want to hear from you! Leave a comment or join the discussion on Twitter.
This post was updated from an earlier version previously published on PayScale.
Why does the employee have to leave; why is it acceptable for the manager to be rude? Why is that tolerated in this day and age?
My supervisor was micromanaging me and criticizing me openly in front of the other team members. She was unreasonable and embarrassed me almost daily. I went to Human Resources. Of course the end result was me losing my job because HR always turns on the person that needs the assistance. My advice would be to get out while you can. The sufferering, the abuse, the humiliation is not worth it.
Great article! It’s hard to tell why a manager doesn’t like you. More often than not, the reason why the manager doesn’t like you is you’re a threat to the manager, but it may be something as trivial as you look like someone that wouldn’t date him/her in high school. Like others have said in the comments – it’s not worth going to HR about it unless the company is trying to build a case to get rid of that… Read more »
I have only been in my job for 3 months but am already looking for a new role. I am micromanaged despite being a mature woman with more office experience than my manager. I am excluded from meetings that need to involve me, my work has been tampered with and I was even left without a meal at a company dinner that I assisted in the planning of. She also gives me all of the tasks that she does not… Read more »
If you cannot turn your negative relationship with your boss around and you decide to leave here is what to do with your remaining time at your current job: if you believe the issue is not “you” rise above it. Your boss on the other hand will be waiting for your emotional cave-in, a sure sign his ploy is working. Avoid responding to his emails that contain emotional hooks. The hooks don’t need a response. They’re only hooks. Don’t take… Read more »
Why is this not considered Bullying? That is exactly what it is, and if it is not acceptable at school, then why would it be acceptable at work? Because you Are an adult should be more reason for reprimand.
When not at work the Bully is teaching their kid to be just like them.
My hiring boss retired and another boss took over as his replacement. This new boss which has been my boss for 3 & 1/2 years now, doesn’t like me and has treated me like shit ever since the day he became my boss. He is very unprofessional and has zero supervisory skills. He constantly talks about me behind my back to anyone that will listen. I also just recently found out that he has been keeping a documentation timeline on… Read more »
You know what’s hilarious? I sat and weeded through all the previous comments, ignoring the one duplicate post. I analyzed the sex of the boss the respondent was complaining about based on the gendered pronouns used (hers, she vs. him, his), and here’s what I found. Six people were complaining about a male boss. Sixteen people were complaining about a female boss. One of the respondents complained about 2 more female bosses, in addition to the first one they complained… Read more »
I went through this for close to 15 years at my former employer. Small company, (1) boss. He just didn’t think I was “a quality individual” — and that was that. Busted my a** for the first 13-14 years (last two I finally realized it wasn’t going to work out) trying to gain his approval. No dice. Mentoring new employees? So what. Being ahead of the curve on new software/hardware so I could serve as an in-house IT guy? So… Read more »
I’ve worked for my current company for 8 years. I’ve always received terrific reviews and gotten along with everyone in the office except my manager. She’s nice to everyone but me and is actually trying to turn people against me and she always insults me whenever she gets a chance. I’ve done nothing to her…I’m always trying to be friendly to her. She has taken responsibilities away from me and hasn’t even discussed it with me…I’ve found out through co-workers.… Read more »
I am a likeable and capable person. I happen not to have had the best luck with jobs lately. I am not the youngest, but I am educated and have a wide level of experience. I am friendly and polite– funny and engaging. But in my most recent temp job, I was treated like a low-level, second class citizen. My supervisor liked my skills in the beginning. But for the last four months, I was reminded each and every day… Read more »
sorry about the misspellings, aricle brought back memories. corporate praised me to my ears and to her. deep down I think she was insecure.
I am a new employee given multiple jobs at once in a retail store. There is a girl that I suppose to be helping me, instead she is permitted to do one job only while hanging out with other employees, very slow at doing it. Yet I’m am confronted in front of people for the tinest mistake. Someone from earlier shift put tags all on floor. I missed two which was blocked by a crowd out with people the boss… Read more »
My store manager is an absolute prick to me, she pretty much just looks down on me and finds everything and anything wrong with me to criticise, like she just does my nut in, she will literally tell me off for things other employees get away with, like in my store it gets busy and I gotta do a lot of stuff other than just get items for customers and even tho she can clearly see I’m on my own… Read more »
I just started a job and I have 2 bosses, one man and a lady. The man is soo nice he really teaches me things is calm and just really approachable. The lady wel she’s just taken over the business and she literally hates me, she swears at me, criticises me in front of customers, yells at me every chances she gets. I make one little mistake that because I just started at the this job. Everyone makes mistakes when… Read more »
My boss is male. He is mean. He acts as if he has no time for me but complains if I do not get things done or am missing. I work in child protection. I have done the job longer than he. I have been right about some issues (called the State rep) because I was told I was wrong about things. I am tired of being talked to like a kindergartner. Yesterday I waited in his office…he has a… Read more »
Give me assignments at last minute and then reassigns them with out telling me. Overloads me with harder work than my co workers. Does not let me participate in company sanctioned activities . Does not take my suggestions seriously but if another co worker makes the same suggestion she likes it. Continuously “misunderstands” my feed back.
My boss divided us and between us there is a spy who shares our words with her as maybe want to be a controller and he found us there and he have 2 months working days so my boss doesn’t want to promote me for what reason is because of a spy and is known that spy.
Yes.criticizing openly was a big problem with that boss, also the feeling of humiliation..I divorced that don’t need to feel it at work. I could go on for days about this person but she ain’t worth the whiskey.
Good for you, i’m in a similar situation right now. I’ve been working at this company i am at now for 3 years which has been really great, however a change of management happened and i was suddenly reporting to a new manager whom they hired overnight. This new manager was undermining me from day 1, he kept throwing massive amounts of tasks at me, he gave me projects and then cancelled them after i spent a significant time on… Read more »
I’ve been working at same company for 20+ years with father and founder of this new boss. 4 years ago, he hired a few employees from company that went belly-up and one of these employees is a slender attractive woman who’s very outspoken and controlling, which is something that I’m not. We’ll call her Mary. Mary wears short short dresses and she and I are the only women working amongst 26 men. Unlike her, I don’t wear short short dresses… Read more »
dont worry, one day they will be replaced with robots
I do think that my boss does not justly do the criticism. She favours few ,which I could recognize and feel also.
She is not transparent in regarding my colleagues and myself, and uses divide and rule policy.
My boss doesn’t like me because I’m honest. With honesty comes a complete contrast to what the boss needs, someone just as crooked as him to maintain and promote his crooked policies. Especially when dealing with salaries and job descriptions. A boss can have you performing 15 highly paid functions for a company, while paying you poorly for the least of them as long as he has someone above you to suggest you “don’t have that much work to do…so… Read more »
i reported my boss for the repulsive swearing in the work place 3 years ago, he left our team approx 2 yrs ago and is now back as my boss again, he has ignored me and yet has conversations and greets good morning to other staff members in the team. I approached him to inform of a matter, before i got the first word out, he said not my problem, i didn’t cause it, i didn’t do it , now… Read more »
My team leader at a new job I was desperately proud to have snagged began singling me out very early on. If I had my hand raised for help, I was never assisted or only assisted after verbally telling her I still had my hand up. Then, I was written-up for two “correctives”. One was bc I was bc I took a sick day, yet at the time didn’t know I would be reprimanded. The second was for forgetting to… Read more »
Not sure if this fits but I was interviewed for to separate higher paying positions where both managers say they voted for me but we’re out voted. Although I’m told I do a great job. Am I stuck with a manager that hates me?
Our store just bought out as a franchise now. I was working in the warehouse. I have been with the company for 18 yrs. I thought I was doing my job right until he brought someone in to work in the waehouse. One day he ask me a question about a part or a piece of paper I told him were it came from. He said why didn’t I put my sinature. I forgot and then I slap my hand… Read more »
Just started a government job about two weeks ago. The staff is great and I have no problem with the intensive training. My relevant experience is far above the minimum requirements for entry. However, my supervisor is very distant and cold. She is much younger than me, in her thirties while I am in my fifties. She pals around with her childhood friend who also works there and is in the same position as mine. My supervisor complains freqently about… Read more »
I gave my boss a birthday gift and she got on line to see how much I spent on her, I was gutted.
I’m going through this now at my current job. My supervisor greets everyone on my shift in the evening except for me, he rarely engages in conversations with me be they personal or work related, he never suggests overtime hours to me, and I receive messages from other people about tasks he’d like me to do, instead of asking/telling me directly. It’s coming to the point that I don’t enjoy going to work at times. I’m even considering going to… Read more »
I’m a nurse. today we had a ‘team building’ exercise…write on a person’s name a ‘positive’ comment. she wrote ‘very clinical’. that is not a positive comment. do I bring this to her attention ?
My supervisor is not kind, I ever ask something in order to remind him that the systems he built was wrong, but he defended his opinion, then after inspection happen the inspectors said the system is wrong. He always refuse my opinion. Maybe because I am a new employee and younger than him? I feel really not comfortable with him
well here is my situation – i am less than 3 years away from retirement with a fulll pension. This bitch has it in form me and there is nothing i can do. I too am female – she just hates me !!!!
i just hate now days we do not only have a manager, we also have crew leaders, senior techs, and all this creates is drama!!!!!!. OMG i wish i can explain my situation but being the lucky person i am ;( i bet 20,000000000000 that one of my “Bosses” will look up this page and get me fired!!!!!!!!!!!!. for something stupid !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! why now days anyone can be a boss…. oh and you cannot talk to them, give them your… Read more »
One of 3 of my bosses doesn’t seem to like me. People say she’s nice but I’ve never seen that side. She laughs with other employees and talks to them just fine, why not me? I barely see her. I get along with all the other ones just fine, I show up on time and do my work without prompting but I can’t even get her to say hello or goodbye to me. At least she responds to problems and… Read more »
I have a boss that keeps me long when we have meetings. He talks about other things non related to work. But today was the longest. My meeting was supposed to be a 1hr and it ran 2 1/2 hrs. Its talken yrs for us to get this point of understanding bit he still likes to go on tangents and says bad words not directly to me. Tells me he my number 1 fan and he loves me and im… Read more »
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I think my boss hates me . We had an affair and I found that he got another woman pregnant ,we broke it off and somehow he managed to get into my good books again . We had casual sex and a short while later he became distant from me ,I didn’t read much into it and just went on doing my job but then the hostility from a co worker came and it seemed that I was being watched.… Read more »
My boss and I work in two different cities about 1 hour to 1 hour and 15 minutes apart. I never once been asked to come up there to meet the rest of my team. I told her I do not mind traveling up to the other office to learn on the new companies system (we just got bought by another company). Everyone has received training on the new TeamMate, I have not. I was on leave at the time… Read more »
I lost my passion for my job after 6 months on the job. I have now been here for a year and a half. I haven’t left because I have feared if I am good enough for a new job or not as I feel this job I’m in has slowly diminished my skills my previous job and college. When I first started, I was told to dumb down my work. So, I did just that, he loved it and… Read more »
My boss and I were great for the first two years, but the last 4 months I could do nothing right. I would always cover for her when she was late or sick, but I think this was my down fall. My former boss is a functional alcholic. When a new company was taking over the North Raleigh Hilton , I was laid off for fear her addiction would be revealed.
I thought when my boss was so encouraging, the first year, I was doing a great job. A co-worker told me it washer honeymoon phase. then she would only come by when she needed me to do something, she didn’t want to do. I practically ran a fundraiser, but the last year I was there, she started micromananaging my emails between chair of the event, whom she ignored the year before when he was a participant, she found out his… Read more »
Our office timings are 8am to 4pm and our boss come office at 3:50pm, so she often skip meetings with foreign deligations because she is non English speaker. She criticised on everything even on employers personally and she thinks she is most deserving person on earth for promotion. Hell!
This article was written about my boss, I swear!!!! I had 17 years experience as a CSR & he starts me at $10 an hour, what an insult! He harasses me every day, and I’m in tears everyday. One day my coworker made a mistake and he blamed me for it and she was right there and didn’t say one word as I got screamed at for her mistake! In October 2015 we had moved to a different location and… Read more »
I am a manager of a small retail store with one employee. We have a new boss who keeps calling me by my employee’s name. She even corrects herself and then does it again in the same conversation. What does this indicate of her thoughts/feelings toward me?
Hello Sir, Please Advise me, my company is proprietor firm who is dealing in property, i m working here from more than 6 yrs of time from last three yrs my boss never do increase my salary, in last evaluation boss said your behavior changed and also trust issue, even my worked hard as per boss there is no point for increment. and said might next 6 month we can do lineament if you changed your behavior. and i do… Read more »
have a look
My boss is such an evil Person, She does not want to hear any other voice except for hers, When she got to our department we were about 30 Agent and she didn’t like anyone and always has an attitude to everyone up until everyone resigned and we are only 11 IT agents left, she shouts and insults people in front of everyone, smelling a bad Muthi and giving threats about firing people for no valid reasons, requesting for other… Read more »
I’m experiencing exactly the same things discussed at work and all arrows points to me leaving the work place.
What should I do?